too high an expectation

that's right.

maybe I did expect too much... but I guess I had every reason to. They seemed to understand where Im coming from, seemed to be as open minded as I am. I truly thought they were different. But I guess culture here has shaped them to the point of no return...

But at least I wanna try to get this across.

YOU DONT KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT DISCRIMINATION

I still dont understand why people here insist that they do not discriminate. seriously??
let me tell you what discrimination and not discriminating really is. I have been through it, every kinds of it, and it was hell, and I hate it when it happens esp right in front of me, and Im gonna set this straight.

When you discriminate someone or something, you basically treat it as different, not normal, see it differently than how you would see something you are used to.
When you do not discriminate, you dont talk about it too much, like its something normal and unimportant for you to waste your breath on. Like the fact that I have 10 fingers, you dont talk about that with friends do you? Cos to you its normal and hence there is no need to press the topic on.

To not discriminate is to try to adapt with the circumstances.
When me and my friends hung out, we always make sure to eat at a place that serve halal and vegan food instead of telling them to go find halal n vegan food themselves. When others wanna take cab cos it was raining cats and dogs, me and my friends took a bus cos a friend of ours didnt have enough money for cab. When a friend isnt as well off as we are, we would compromise, we would eat cheaper, shop lesser, etc. We once paid for a friend's movie ticket cos she had no more money to spend just so we can watch with her. We never spread important infos through sms only cos there are those who didnt have cellphones and we compromised, we used emails and words of mouth and call them at their homes, making sure they get the news. When we have groupwork we always try not to do it on sunday morning cos they know I gotta go to church. When my friends were excitedly chatting with mandarin and I joined in, they would change to english so I can join the conversation no matter how animated their gossips were before they are forced to change language. We would always talk in english when there is someone unfamiliar to our mother tounge so he/she wouldnt be left alone. We always hung out with lots of people regardless of their background, hometowns, nationalities, colors, race, religion etc. We treat our gay/lesbian friends just the same with others and we dont talk or tease them for what they are, we still hangout with them as per usual, we dont bully them by saying "relax we dont discriminate against any sexual orientation so go ahead, go grab that guy!" cos it would only make them feel as if they are different from us. We never call our friends 'black' or 'chinese' or 'indian' even if they are because for us it doesnt matter what colour or what race they have.

We are aware of others' circumstances and conditions and we try to make it such that they are not left alone because of their conditions and to make them feel accepted, not unlike the others regardless of their backgrounds.
THATS how not to discriminate.

Spreading news and information only through bb messenger?
definitely discrimination.
Teasing someone saying "we do not discriminate against sexual orientation"?
definitely discrimination.
Teasing someone just because of how they look like?
definitely discrimination.
Calling someone 'cina'?
definitely DEFINITELY discrimination of the worst kind.
Laughing at someone's ideals, clothes, opinions, cars or whatever is also discrimination.
I have many other examples I have come across while Im in Indo but hell its too much for this one blog post.

God, I'm ranting...and I usually dont, but this has agitated me for so long that I just gotta let off steam.

I thought you guys, of all people, would understand all of these. I thought with your global-minded persona, you would not be like the rest of them people out there.

To me this is personal so yea I was damn pissed.
I have been through this, I have felt how awful it is to be ostracised just because of who I am.
And I am NOT gonna stand by and watch the same things happening again.
Especially not by you guys, whom I have come to love like a family.

So maybe I was wrong about you guys...but then again, please prove me that all of you are better than this.
If not, I dont know how long can I stay.